Beware: 7 Phrases That Drive Professional Cartoonists Criminally Insane


Never ever under any circumstances say any of the following phrases to a professional cartoonist:

1) Can you look at my work and tell me what you think?

I could, but it doesn’t really mean anything. Send your cartoons to an editor. If they hand you a check ya done good.

2) We pay on publication.

Super. And I’ll pay for your magazine when I’m done reading it.

3) I saw this cartoon once. Can you help me find it?

Yes, because I know all and see all!

Honestly, if Google can’t help you, what makes you think I could.

4) Ha-ha! You should do a cartoon about that!

No. I shouldn’t. Because that’s crap.

5) Hi, you don’t know me, but could you tell me who’s buying at (insert cartoon market here) and how much they pay?

Sure! And here’s my address book, my taxes for the last ten years, and where I buried me treasure! Yar!

6) I have an idea for a great cartoon for you.

Trust me, you don’t. Please stop right there.

7) We have well over a hundred readers. This would be great exposure for you.

When I’m in Reader’s Digest I’m read by millions and I get a nice fat check. I think I’ll stick with that.

7 thoughts on “Beware: 7 Phrases That Drive Professional Cartoonists Criminally Insane”

  1. Oog. So much I could say here. Suffice to add that just now I got a request for #1. Please, if you cartoon, just send your work out in the world.

  2. Great post. I assume you stopped at seven phrases out of deference to George Carlin and his “Seven words you can never use on television”?

  3. I agree with most of these, but with some exception to #1. Considering some of the “suggestions” I’ve received from editors, I don’t think they’re a good source of feedback. (Case in point: “You should consider submitting to gay publications.”)

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