Recently I’ve been inspired to try and get a children’s book published.
I don’t know exactly where I got the bug, but having read countless books to my two little ones, I suppose it makes sense.
It’s also something new to challenge myself. And, being a cartoonist, I’m on pretty good speaking terms with failure. So the slew of rejection letters doesn’t bother me.
Anyway, here is my first attempt at a children’s book. Enjoy!
Someone Did Not Take Good Care Of This Book
By: Mark Anderson
Someone did not take good care of this book.
How can you tell? Well, you just have to look.
This page is all wrinkled. Its edges are tattered.
With blackberry jelly this page has been splattered.
This page has a hole that someone made bigger.
Why someone would do that, I just cannot figure.
It’s been colored in, drawn in with pencil and pen.
No, this volume won’t ever look pristine again.
It’s been out in the rain, where it got soaking wet.
Then it sat in a puddle. How much worse can it get?!
Someone ripped out the pop-up (it used to fold out),
leaving just this weird thing that keeps flapping about.
Someone bent this book backwards, acting unkind.
Now it lays there all droopy, without its poor spine.
It’s been used as a shield, swung around as a sword,
to hold back the terrible thundering horde!
It’s been worn as a hat, you can still see some hair.
You don’t think it gets worse? Oh, my friend, au contraire…
It’s been in the bathroom, soaked up juice as a coaster,
employed as a platter for a sixteen pound roaster.
It’s been left in a fridge with odiferous cheeses
and used as a tissue for wiping up sneezes!
Yes, someone did not take good care of this book.
What should they have done? Let’s go take a look.
You treat a book nicely, make sure hands are clean.
Other readers do not want to see your cuisine.
Don’t write in a book. Though you may think you should,
librarians everywhere agree it’s not good.
Books are for reading, no less and no more.
Don’t use them for things that might make them feel sore.
Take care of your books. They’re a reader’s best friend,
I know that you will, so now here comes…
Hope you liked it. No editors did, but I did get some really good feedback on what I did wrong and where the market is.
Stay tuned for number two!