Hulk Lame!

Lately I’ve been visiting the local comic book store every Wednesday and picking up a few things. But I gotta tell ya, I’m thinking that’s going to be a more occasional visit, what with the dreck I’ve been seeing lately.

Case in point: World War Hulk #1:

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First off, I’m a latecomer to this whole “shoot Hulk into space/gladiator” thing, and I guess maybe I’m just not a fanboy, but if the best you can come up with is an outer space Conan-ish story line, maybe you need a nice long break.

And dressing him up in chrome spikes, leather and a shiny headband just screams “Hulk like musical theater!”

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Also, words like “worldbreaker,” “warbound” and “oldstrong?” Mark no like badspeak! Pretentio-logue make me angry!

My favorite gripe, though is this. Note the inside back cover ad:

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OK, I’m as big a fan of leggy trailer trash as the next guy, and Old Spice obviously needs to advertise as I was surprised to find it even existed any more, but upon closer inspection of a number of pages of the story itself, I noticed this:

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See it? Upper left? Lemme close up on it…

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I dunno when product placement started in comics, but… ICK!

Listen, I know this isn’t great literature and all that, but to be honest this type of comic is so boring and typical and uninteresting, that I’m really looking forward to digging into my recent first purchase of manga.

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Wizard World Chicago 2006

Well, I did it. I went to my first comics convention.

It was fun, but I’m not a big comics fanboy, so it wasn’t such a big deal. To be honest, I didn’t really know one artist from another, and I didn’t stand in any lines to get any autographs or anything.

Basically I walked around, soaked in the pale, heavy, nearsighted atmosphere and took some goofy pictures. Enjoy!

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Here we go…

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Marvel was right at the entrance

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What are these HeroClix figures so excited about?

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The invasion of the giant water bottles!

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Honestly, this looks less like an Iron Man costume and more like my 3-year old’s pajamas.

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I don’t know who this was, but she seemed to just be an attendee. A very popular attendee.

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That’s a lot of comics!

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You remember him as Jaws, but I love him best as Eegah!

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Some wrestlers looking for a fight.

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Whew! Close one! (One nearby nerd actually said “Dude, that would be totally one-sided. I mean the storm-troopers would just like blow them away man!”)

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Every time I walked past this guy he was all over me. Yeesh!

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Isn’t it past your bed time? Oh wait… Sorry…

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The DC booth.

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A banner at the DC booth. Like most guys my age, I used to love Linda Carter’s Wonder Woman. (OK I kinda still do.)

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Throwing t-shirts.

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Joyce DeWitt?! What the hell?!

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He’s either shopping for a new helmet, or he just made a boom boom in his pants.

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I dunno who this was either, but she seemed to like taking photos with folks. Who am I to argue?

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The Dark Horse booth.

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Captain Balloon-ica!

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I didn’t want a picture with this guy, but this sign is too funny!

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I almost bought this. My wife is happy I didn’t.

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Oh my! (There was a lot of this kind of stuff.)

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Ran into these guys on the way out. I’m not gonna call them.

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And I ran into this person by the elevator to the parking garage. She was applying blue makeup to her armpits.

But, the absolute BEST photo is the one I paid $20 for a crappy Polaroid of…

Lou

…that’s right. Me and Lou Ferrigno. Here’s a closeup:

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All in all, a fun day, but not a lot there for your friendly neighborhood gag cartoonist. I’ll post pics of my purchases and freebies soon…

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