â€œAtomic batteries to powerâ€¦ Turbines to speedâ€¦â€
God help me, I do so love bad movies.
Itâ€™s not that I love the movies per se, but I love the humor that a bad movie creates. Iâ€™m a huge fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000, and recently of the intentionally terrible The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, but Batman: The Movie (1966) holds a special place in my heart.
The rubber shark fight sceneâ€¦ The dehydrated piratesâ€¦ The clearly marked drinking water dispensersâ€¦ Itâ€™s all too bad/good to be true!
I revel in the noble porpoiseâ€™s ultimate sacrifice. I marvel at the famous bomb removal scene (Nun! Baby! Marching band! Nun! Baby! Marching band!) And Adam West! (Shatnerâ€™s got nothing on you, Adam.)
Letâ€™s not forget the iconic â€œBAM!â€s or â€œKAPOWIEâ€s either. Or the unending litany of â€œHoly (insert alliteration here), Batman!â€
Foam rubber wholesaling conventionsâ€¦ Illegal projection buoysâ€¦ Robinâ€™s disdain for bar riffraffâ€¦ Good God itâ€™s bad movie heaven!
The DVD includes some nice featurettes, but the commentary by the uncapped crusaders themselves is too entertaining for words.
If you havenâ€™t seen it in a while, please give Batman: The Movie a place in your queue or shopping cart.
1) If you were to cast a movie entirely with cartoon characters, what movie would it be and who would star in it?
My movie would be “Godâ€™s Dog” (A palindrome) starring Snoopy as the dog and white haired, bearded Elmer Fudd as God.
The scene: There is nothing, of course, but God and his dog. This is one week before the creation. God is tossing lightning bolts and the dog has to fetch them. This has been going on ever since the dog can remember, and itâ€™s starting to wear thin.
Which brings us to theâ€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦
Plot: The dog fetches his 25 billionth lightning bolt and carries it back to God and places it at his feet. God is getting ready to toss another lightning bolt, when the dog interrupts and says, “This is getting to be a dragâ€¦ Why donâ€™t you try something a little more creative to do with your time?” God asks, “Do you have any suggestionsâ€¦?”
Dogâ€™s suggestions; “For beginnersâ€¦ How about a little more light??? Itâ€™s a bit tough to see around here.” God smiles and says, â€œGood ideaâ€¦â€ and with a wave of his hand creates light. The dog and God are delightedâ€¦and the dog blurts out, “greatâ€¦now I can see the nothing much better nowâ€¦” That comment broke God up and he roars out laughing.
God gets caught up in the moment and starts creating the universe, planets, suns, comets, clouds, and before you know it 5 days have passed! “Wowâ€¦I didnâ€™t know you could do all that!” says the dog, “I have another good laugh to share with youâ€¦I see you made every planet and moon square, make them round and put a few creatures on that blue oneâ€¦That way, if they tried to get off, they would only travel in circles.”
That did itâ€¦ God screamed out with laughter and his dog joined inâ€¦ With another wave of the hand creatures abounded on the tiny blue planet. The dog noticed that all the creatures were different. Some walked on all fours, while others flew, crawled, hopped, and swam. The dog was amazed that this lightning tosser he called God had so many unique and mystical powers.
“Whoaâ€¦ You have a great talentâ€¦!” the dog gasped. “Is it possible to make a creature in your image? Then you can place them in paradise, but the gag would be to plant a temptation right in the middle of the whole works, the we could watch them go downhill.” God thought for a moment, then waved his hand, and it was done.
After they ate the “apple” God and his dog were hysterical. It was then that God mentioned he was tired from all this laughing and creating and decided to take an entire day to rest.
It was while God was resting that the dog mentioned Sunday football. But that part would be in the sequel film.
2) You’re a syndicate editor launching a new comic strip. What’s the worst possible title you can think of?
‘Rhymes with Puke’
3) A light bulb over a cartoon’s head signifies an idea, while a string of random characters denotes swearing. Invent a new cartooning icon and what it means.
I would draw word/thought balloons into a shapeâ€¦ Like a cat with his claws out. The cartoon below would show a ‘catty’ female saying to another female, â€œI loooove you dressâ€¦â€
I did this series for “Mad” magazine a few years ago, showing about 20 different “tell tale balloons.”
Wow! Great stuff Don! Or is it Duck? Whoever you are, thanks a bunch!
Check out Don/Duck’s site or he’ll get Mad! (LOL! I kill me!)
What a title, eh?!
A cartoonist who portrayed Jesus as a pot-smoking hippy has been sentenced to six months in prison by a Greek court…
And you thought people were mad about SpongeBob!